30 Lessons for 30 Years


I’ve been looking forward to this decade.

I don’t know why, but something about 30 seems to shout, “Take me seriously!”

Maybe mature, refined people don’t have to stamp their foot and shout, “Take me seriously!” because it’s clear that people do.

For the rest of us who still feel like junior high girls only with more expensive clothes and personal property tax, it can feel daunting to enter the business world with confidence if you don’t have a few professional and personal experiences under your belt.

Same with dating. Same with motherhood. Same with navigating conflicts and stress and all the good stuff life throws our way.

But thirty? Thirty feels perfect. So, with that comes 30 lessons for 30 years – what I’m striving to learn or have learned in the last year:

  1. Showing up is one of the greatest, most worthwhile sacrifices.

  2. Empathy is one is the most important character traits in a leader, wife, mother and friend. Without empathy, traits like honesty, innovation, and love couldn’t exist.

  3. When it comes to the big decisions: you can only do the best you can with the information you have at the time.

  4. Don’t kick yourself when choices you make are difficult in the moment because of information you didn’t have before.

  5. It’s not selfish to innovate your life or imagine tasks, errands and even interior decorating differently.

  6. On the other hand, it is silly to keep things the way that they’ve always been, especially if they don’t work for you.

  7. Gossip leads to a spirit of ill content. Both are extremely hard to correct.

  8. Do what you love with wisdom and cancel out the noise from those in your life who make it - you can always find someone who will argue in support or against something you want to do.

  9. At the same time, listen to the folks you trust who have gone before you. When they tell you to get an accountant and get your LLC registered, LISTEN (CLAP) TO (CLAP) THEM (CLAP, CLAP!).

  10. It is not a crime to unfollow. It is not a crime to unfollow. It is not a crime to unfollow.

  11. Work to streamline work. If there are those in your company who reach out to you in avenues that make you uncomfortable or anxious (because the lack empathy), tell them!

  12. Conflict doesn’t have to be angry or charged with emotion - it can be as simple as bringing something to another person’s attention. 

  13. Emotions that you let fester will control you.

  14. Taking your own advice is harder than it seems.

  15. Babies really do grow up quickly.

  16. This season won’t be forever.

  17. A blazer and a coat of lipstick really do make a difference.

  18. Ghosting is a painful human experience. And you can never quite ghost someone out of your life forever - they will leave their mark and enter your thoughts.

  19. You do not have time for pettiness. Anymore.

  20. You are cool enough to pull off that hat.

  21. If you constantly live under the assumption that you’re not “the kind of person” who does what she wants...I’m not the kind of girl to have a stable relationship, I’m not the kind of girl to run my own business...you’ll never get there.

  22. Risk is scary; but worth it!

  23. People lie but the Ennegram test doesn’t.

  24. Just because someone stole your spotlight in high school does not mean you’re not good.

  25. It’s not a crime or a defamation of character to say no. In fact, it says more about your character to say yes and then back down.

  26. Avoid making demands of people in general, but especially of a woman navigating her first year of motherhood.

  27. Also, in general, avoid making big commitments your first year of motherhood. Just don’t do it. Just don’t. Okay? Okay.

  28. When you get the bill, just go ahead and pay it, sister. We know this story ends a day late and several dollars short.

  29. Regarding clothing - it’s a good idea to invest in a few, quality pieces rather than splurge here and there on 20 dollar flimsy pieces you’ll give away in a fashion cycle or two.

  30. Cherish the people who are committed to your crazy.

Brett Tubbs